THE AFRICAN BRIDE: MARRIAGE AND VIRGINITY
AFRICAN CULTURAL MARRIAGES
Culture can be
defined as the knowledge beliefs, traditional practices and the way a specific
society behaves. In the context of the African cultural marriage, the male or
his aunts have the role of finding a suitable girl that they want him to marry.
Girls become women after their first menstrual period at about thirteen years old and left to grow until
about sixteen years old. The government, the United Nations and women’s rights have criticised
arranging marriages for girls younger than thirteen as a violation of human rights. In the light of early marriages, virginity for brides remains a big deal. The girl is then presented to
the man’s family for approval. If the man’s family agrees, a messenger known as
sadombo will now be sent to the
woman’s family to request for marriage. If the woman’s family also agree, they
will draw a list of demands they want to be paid by the man’s family. This list
known as “lobola” or bride price
comprises of several herds of cattle, groceries, cash and the woman’s parents
clothing among other goods. The demands can be paid over a period of a
lifetime. In most of the South African cultures, the Nguni (cattle hide) blanket is given to the father of the bride as lobola.
Similarly to
other cultures across Africa, the vaShona people of Zimbabwe also pay lobola or
the bride price. After the lobola payment ceremony is done, the woman in
question will now be accompanied by her aunts to her new husband’s home. There,
she will be received by her new husband’s family a few hundred metres before
she reaches the homestead. Since her new husband’s family will be aware, they
will invite the entire village to receive her by ululating and dancing.
Meanwhile, the woman (muroora) will be covered in a cloth so that no one sees her face.
The woman and her aunts will deliberately move in slow motion while taking
occasional stops to delay arrival at the new husband's homestead. Their
intention is to make sure every few steps towards the new husband’s home are
paid using material items or money. This arrival ceremony is usually performed
towards sunset and it lasts until midnight.
As the aunts
arrive, the new bride is given to her new husband’s family where the ceremony
continues with new events. A newly married woman will now have her bed prepared
by her aunts. New white linen is spread on the bride’s bed where on this night
the husband is invited. The purpose of the white linen is to set up the bride
to prove whether she was once laid or not, precisely to test for virginity. After spending the night with her
new husband, now it will be the turn of the husband’s aunts to go in and
inspect the bed if there is a sign of virginity of the bride showing on those
white linen bed sheets. A virgin would be expected to leave some blood stains
which prove that her hymen has been broken by her husband as a sign for her
first sexual encounter. If the linen remains white without any sign that her
virginity has been broken by her husband, the husband’s family will remove the
white bed linen and cut a hole through the sheets. These white bed sheets will
be handed over to the woman’s aunts who are waiting to prove that their niece
was a virgin. If the sheets have blood stains they will be given back with the
blood stains still present. The aunts of the woman will return with either the
pierced white bed sheets or the woman if the husband’s family refuses to accept
a woman who has been laid before. If the husband’s aunts choose to take her to
remain since the woman is not a virgin, they will send a message with their go-between middlemen to inform the woman’s family of a significant bride price
reduction. This request is a humiliation to the family of the bride. Although
some girls may claim that their hymen was broken through sport and other
non-sexual intercourse related activities, the aunts certainly know all the
tricks in the book about who is a virgin and those who come for marriage with
their hymens broken into. Daughters in the family will be cautioned about sex
before marriage, thereby preserving the secrecy of the African cultural
marriage practices. The bride can also be requested to come to the man's house without following the cultural processes. this is known as kukumbira.
LAZARUS GAWAZAH
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